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1 Invite - 64GB - GiveAway Jul 31, 2014

napottaja , Jul 31, 2014 :

Q: Why couldn't the bike stand on it's own?
A: Beacuse it was two-tired.

 

7Chicas , Jul 31, 2014 :

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off. lol

 

hjh_1983 , Jul 31, 2014 :

So I was working in this garage and little Bo Peep came in and said, "There's smoke coming out of my bonnet".
I said, "Your hair is on fire"
She said "ha ha, well there are eggs coming out of my exhaust"
I said, "That'll happen, it's a hatch back"

 

Toneknows , Jul 31, 2014 :

what do you call a dog with no front legs and no back legs????????




call him wha

 

Toneknows , Jul 31, 2014 :

call him what ever you want he ain't coming

 

Lennertt , Jul 31, 2014 :

Wich animal almost complete exist of wool ?
A Wooooolf !

 

millejoe08 , Jul 31, 2014 :

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A: Woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.

 

danask , Jul 31, 2014 :

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered. "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart!
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

 

ArturoHg159 , Jul 31, 2014 :

(The dogs name is who)

Me-HeyI just got a dog
Friend- really?, well which is it's name?
Me- Who
Friend- The dog
Me- What with the dog
Friend- How is it called
Me- Who
Friend- The dog
Me- Wo
Fiend- The dog
Me Who
Friend( now getting mad)-Well Who can tell me which is the name of the dog
Me- Yep
Friend- Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Super Troll

 

tchad , Jul 31, 2014 :

Q!s , Jul 31, 2014 :

Why did Mary's little lamb follow her everywhere she went?
Mary had an invite in her back pocket!

 

hondoobob , Jul 31, 2014 :

Dirty joke. ... White Horse fell in the mud!

 

Miller101 , Jul 31, 2014 :

A friend of mine attaches an Ballon to his pet a turtle, she's so small that he would loose her if she walks around in his House!
That looks so kawaii every time

 

Hoodhook , Jul 31, 2014 :

A man goes to the doctor, during the exam when he asked what's wrong the doctor says: You need to stop masturbating.
The man asks: Why? The doctor replies: Its distracting me.

 

matty2104 , Jul 31, 2014 :

if you give me an invite i will take a video....(throw mine mobile to the forest )

 

Ahok , Jul 31, 2014 :

Ain´t nobody got time for that.

 

VANGUARDAEP , Jul 31, 2014 :

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It is Einsteins turn to be it and he starts counting. Pascal runs to find a hiding spot. Newton simply grabs a stick and draws a square around himself. Then when Einstein finishes counting he sees Newton standing there and says, "Ha I found you, what kind of hiding spot is that?" Then Newton says, "No you found Pascal", he points at the square and says, "One Newton per meter squared."

 

Toneknows , Jul 31, 2014 :

Guy walks into a bar sits down and pulls a small piano out of a bag and sets it on the bar.

He orders a drink, bartender say to him what’s with the little piano?

Guy says watch this.

Pull a small man out of his pocket, guy sites at the little piano and starts playing Beethoven.

Bartender can’t believe his eyes.

Where is the world did you get him from, he says.

The guy say there is a genie around the corner giving out wishes.


The bartender runs out of the bar, around the corner, and stands online for the genie.


He finally gets to the genie after an hour long wait.

Genie say, what wish can I grant you my friend?

Bartender say, I want 10 million bucks.


All of a sudden the sky turn black, a loud roar and poof!


The sky fills with ten million Ducks, they start shitting all over the bartender.

He runs as fast as he could back to the bar.


He runs up to the guy sitting there finishing his drink and putting away the small piano.


What the hell is wrong with that genie?

I ask for ten million buck and he gave me ten million ducks?


Guys turns to him and says…..


Did you really think I ask for a 10 inch pianist?

 

Sidhar , Jul 31, 2014 :

danitheboa , Jul 31, 2014 :

I was up all night on this page because I took my mom's shitting pills because I thought they were melatonin... so go figure I think I deserve the invite.. it's painful