2 new Invites - Available to share

  1. Johnathon 123!#
    Froyo Sep 16, 2015

  2. strickerz
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 16, 2015

    strickerz , Sep 16, 2015 :
    Dad: Say daddy!
    Baby: Mommy!
    Dad: Come on, say daddy!
    Baby: Mommy!
    Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
    Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
    Mom: Honey, I'm home!
    Baby: F*ck you!
    Mom: Who taught you that?
    Baby: Daddy!
    Dad: Son of a b*tch.

    Lutom and Nickexp like this.
  3. nicolasquad
    Gingerbread Sep 16, 2015

  4. Nickexp
    Honeycomb Sep 16, 2015

  5. annixwe
    Gingerbread Sep 16, 2015

  6. schlafanzug
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2015

    Lutom likes this.
  7. micke748
    Donut Sep 16, 2015

    micke748 , Sep 16, 2015 :
    Like Nickexp Said, the invite system..

    I think we are lucky that OPT got this big display, becourse the waiting of an invite is very long so many of us will be need glasses to read and then the big display is a big help for us...

  8. Bhav248
    Froyo Sep 16, 2015

    Bhav248 , Sep 16, 2015 :

    What is brown and sticky?

    A Stick!

  9. fhossain27
    Honeycomb Sep 16, 2015

  10. tahseenmuskan2005
    Donut Sep 16, 2015

  11. Zelllix
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2015

    Zelllix , Sep 16, 2015 :
    Being stuck in a traffic jam, seeing that bitchy sign telling you to not drive more than 50 km/h while you are standing still.

  12. junaidkhan1992
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2015

  13. pawangnayak
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 16, 2015

    pawangnayak , Sep 16, 2015 :
    Dedicated to the OnePlus team. Hope it makes me a winner!


  14. chets
    Froyo Sep 16, 2015

    chets , Sep 16, 2015 :
    Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

  15. chets
    Froyo Sep 16, 2015

    chets , Sep 16, 2015 :
    There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5

  16. chets
    Froyo Sep 16, 2015

    chets , Sep 16, 2015 :
    An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?' The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.' The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?' 'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.' 'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.' The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland.'

  17. chets
    Froyo Sep 16, 2015

  18. bormasina
    Gingerbread Sep 16, 2015

  19. weesuby
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2015

  20. Abhijeet0966
    Donut Sep 16, 2015