An Ode To Sufferers Of 7/7Pro Envy

  1. theshinybeast
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    theshinybeast , May 17, 2019 :
    Now, the OP5T Users
    Had pockets with OP5Ts.
    The OP5 users-Had none in thars.
    Those Ts weren’t so big. They were really so small.
    You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.
    But, because they had Ts, all the OP5T users
    Would brag, “We’ve the best kind of phone in the forum."
    With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
    “We’ll have nothing to do with the T-less sort!”
    And whenever they met some, when they were chatting online
    They’d skip right on past them without even a Hi.
    When the T user kids went to the forum to play ,
    Could a Plain- OP5 user get in the game…? No way!
    You only could play if your phone had a T
    And the OP5 user kids had none upon thars.
    When the OP5T Users had forum roasts
    Or threads or comparisons or photo shoots,
    They never invited the Plain-OP5 Users.
    They left them out cold, in the dark of the forum.
    They kept them away. Never let them come near.
    And that’s how they treated them day after day.

    Then one day the Plain-OP5 Users
    Were moping and doping alone on the forum,
    Just sitting there wishing their phones had Ts…
    A familiar face zipped up in the strangest of fashions!
    “My friends,” he announced in a voice clear and keen,
    “My name is Carl McHype McBling.
    And I’ve heard of your troubles. I’ve heard you’re unhappy.
    But I can fix that. I’m the Oneplus Chappie.
    I’ve come here to help you. I have what you need.
    And my prices are low. And it works at great speed.
    And my new phone is one hundred per cent guaranteed!

    Then, quickly Carl McHype McBling
    Put together a very peculiar phone machine.
    And he said, “You want Ts like a T User…?
    My friends, you can have better for a few dollars each!”
    “Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!”
    So they clambered to the store. Then the big hype machine roared
    And it klonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked and it bopped about. But the thing really worked!

    When the Plain-OP5 Users popped out, they had 6s!
    They actually did. They had 6s upon thars!
    Then they yelled at the ones who had T at the start,
    “We’re better than you! You can tell us apart.
    We’re better than you now, you snooty old smarties!
    And now we can wave our 6s you mere little 5Ts”

    “Good grief!” groaned the ones who had 5Ts at the first.
    “We’re not the best Users now we are the worst.
    But, now, what in the world will we do ?” they all frowned,
    “Which kind is best or the other way round?”

    Then came Carl with a very sly wink.
    And he said, “Things are not quite as bad as you think.So you don’t know who's best. That is perfectly true.But come with me, friends. Do you know what I’ll do? I’ll make you, again, the best Users in the forum and all it will cost you a few extra dollars each.”
    "6 users are no longer in style,” said Carl.
    “What you need is a trip through my Hype Machine.
    This wondrous contraption will take off your 5Ts
    So you'll be better than Users who have 6 on thars.”

    And that handy machine working very precisely
    Removed all the 5Ts from their phones quite nicely.
    Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about
    And they opened their beaks and they let out a shout,
    “We know who is best! Now there isn’t a doubt.
    The best kind of Users are Users with 6Ts!”

    Then, of course, those with 6 all got frightfully mad.
    To be wearing a 6 now was frightfully bad.
    Then, of course, old Carl McHype McBling
    Invited them into his hype machine.

    Then, of course from THEN on, as you probably guess,
    Things really got into a horrible mess.
    All the rest of those years, in that wild screaming forum,The Oneplus Chappie kept fitting up Users.
    Off again! On Again! 7 ! 7 Pro! Again.
    Through the machines they raced round and about again,changing their phone every 6 months or so.
    They kept paying money. They kept running through
    Until neither the 5 nor the 6 nor The T nor The 7 nor The 7 Pro Users knew
    Whether this one was that one…or that one was this one or which one was what one …or what one was who.

    Then, when every last cent
    Of their money was spent,
    The Oneplus Chappie packed up
    And he went.
    And he laughed as he left
    With his bag full of cash,
    “They never will learn.
    No. You can’t teach a User!”

    Some Users got really quite smart on that day,
    The day they decided that phones are phones
    And no kind of phone is the best on the world

    But sadly other Users continued to be sad, they still felt jealous and envy of the Ts and Pros
    And whether they had the latest in their pockets, or not, in thars. So they open threads to whine and to moan, to scream and to shout, they're entitled no-good-'uns of that there is no doubt.

    What these Users don't seem to realise
    Carl the OnePlus chappie is terribly wise
    Every year there'll be a new temptation
    Just built for the likes of them and their ferocious cravin'.

    They're doomed to be eternally jealous
    Of the next best phone, their precious.
    Forever trying to keep up with the Jones'
    Those folks with their shiny new phones'
    Special thanks to Dr Seuss;The Sneetches which this is based on
    Last edited: May 18, 2019

  2. B_Wrath
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    drl431, Bobbie63, SJBoss and 5 others like this.
  3. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert May 17, 2019

    Cheetosdust , May 17, 2019 :
    You know it's bad (or great) when other members start to write odes :tearsofjoy:

    My taking from your ode: the envy sufferers have green eggs. :D

    Thank you, thank you very much, shinyseuss. :cool:

  4. theshinybeast
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    theshinybeast , May 17, 2019 :
    Odes are always tragic in my book, just like these tragic OP6T moaners suffering from chronic buyers regret. :rolleyes:

  5. G_plusone
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    SJBoss, theshinybeast and YRJ like this.
  6. YRJ
    Lollipop May 17, 2019

    YRJ , May 17, 2019 :
    Did not get the tag! :rolleyes:

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  7. YRJ
    Lollipop May 17, 2019

    YRJ , May 17, 2019 :
    Beautifully written, Dr. ShinyTheodor! :cool:

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  8. luxuskamel
    Lollipop May 17, 2019

    SJBoss, xnutzii and theshinybeast like this.
  9. theshinybeast
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    theshinybeast , May 17, 2019 :
    I'll make a TLDR version in pictorial form and tag you later.:rolleyes:

    I just de-bolded it.

    eye842, Bobbie63, SJBoss and 3 others like this.
  10. luxuskamel
    Lollipop May 17, 2019

    luxuskamel , May 17, 2019 :
    I appreciate your ambition

    SJBoss, xnutzii and theshinybeast like this.
  11. iNtEnSePL
    KitKat May 17, 2019

    SJBoss and xnutzii like this.
  12. KeepTransisting
    The Lab - OnePlus 7 Pro Reviewer May 17, 2019

  13. luigimario
    The Lab - OnePlus 6T Reviewer May 17, 2019

    luigimario , May 17, 2019 :

    Bobbie63, SJBoss and theshinybeast like this.
  14. theshinybeast
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    Mr. BG, Bobbie63 and SJBoss like this.
  15. SJBoss
    Lollipop May 17, 2019

    SJBoss , May 17, 2019 :

  16. theshinybeast
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    theshinybeast , May 17, 2019 :
    You really have gone all out Lew, should he be worried?:rolleyes:

    I know you love this so

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  17. SJBoss
    Lollipop May 17, 2019

    SJBoss , May 17, 2019 :
    What do you mean? It’s me Lew, You want a brand new iPhone 6s? I have plenty of ‘em lying around for some reason, Tune in to my channel.
    Why the fcuk i find it funny?

    theshinybeast likes this.
  18. theshinybeast
    Marshmallow May 17, 2019

    Bobbie63 and SJBoss like this.
  19. SJBoss
    Lollipop May 18, 2019

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  20. meatandy
    Oreo May 18, 2019

    meatandy , May 18, 2019 :
    I'm speechless , guilty maybe , but never regretful or envious of the newest user.

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