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Giving away 3 invites: First one to make me laugh

  1. ewesg78
    Froyo Sep 14, 2014

    ewesg78 , Sep 14, 2014 :
    First off nice to meet you @GivingAwayTheInvites. Second I was going to post the definition to "swamp ***" but changed my mind...seriously though. Check it out at urban dictionary. Anywho here's my joke.

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
     

    #81
    j03shm03 likes this.
  2. barbarossaviii
    Donut Sep 14, 2014

  3. Kroxzon
    Froyo Sep 14, 2014

  4. jbody1982
    Gingerbread Sep 15, 2014

    jbody1982 , Sep 15, 2014 :
    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
     

    #84
  5. McDeFe
    Eclair Sep 15, 2014

    McDeFe , Sep 15, 2014 :
    do you still have an invitation? because i've read now about this post... Am i late? I have to make you laugh? I'm here with more than one day of delay... i don't know if this makes you laugh, but indeed it makes me cry
     

    #85
  6. GrislySquirrel
    Eclair Sep 15, 2014

  7. Panda111
    Gingerbread Sep 15, 2014

  8. iamjoepablo
    Cupcake Sep 15, 2014

    iamjoepablo , Sep 15, 2014 :
    Why did Lamar give Kobe $5?
    ...Because Lamar Odom!
    Ha get it? cuz Lamar owed him?.....
    ...yea?...um..ha..ugh...fml...
     

    #88
    j03shm03 likes this.
  9. SergioMA
    Froyo Sep 15, 2014

    SergioMA , Sep 15, 2014 :
    well, I don't know if the invites have been given away, but let's give it a shot!

    [​IMG]
     

    #89
  10. raidy
    Froyo Sep 15, 2014


    #90
    j03shm03 likes this.
  11. kc1915
    Gingerbread Sep 15, 2014

    kc1915 , Sep 15, 2014 :
    Son: Hey dad I lost my virginity today!
    Father: Good job son, that's an important milestone in your life. Who was it?
    Son: My math teacher!
    Father: Isn't your math teacher Mr. Russell?

    ...
     

    #91
  12. Tidei Angelo
    Cupcake Sep 15, 2014

    Tidei Angelo , Sep 15, 2014 :
    I would love an invitation to purchase a telephone One Plus One.
    I thank you in advance.
     

    #92
  13. madmike95
    KitKat Sep 15, 2014

    madmike95 , Sep 15, 2014 :
    Nobody wants your filthy invites!
     

    #93
  14. Cdefilippo
    Donut Sep 15, 2014

    Cdefilippo , Sep 15, 2014 :
    Why did the Avon lady have trouble walking.........Because her lips stick!


    Thanks for the opportunity, would love the invite!
     

    #94
  15. morningmist
    Eclair Sep 15, 2014

    morningmist , Sep 15, 2014 :
    the baby was so ugly they gave him a sausage necklace and the dog still refused to play with him
     

    #95
  16. MysticalOrca
    Froyo Sep 15, 2014

    MysticalOrca , Sep 15, 2014 :
    I saw a picture of this piglet wearing boots through a mud puddle one time. It cracked me up a lot.
     

    #96
  17. Superrtim
    Cupcake Sep 15, 2014

    Superrtim , Sep 15, 2014 :
    Gave my number to a girl and she said she'd call me when she got home. I think she homeless :(
     

    #97
  18. Dinesh_X
    Eclair Sep 15, 2014


    #98
  19. hanjune2012
    Eclair Sep 15, 2014

    hanjune2012 , Sep 15, 2014 :
    Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says:" I would like to have H2O." The second one says:" I would like H2O too." The second one died.
     

    #99
    j03shm03 likes this.
  20. jdhully
    Eclair Sep 15, 2014