Take your time.
Q: What do West Virginians do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin!
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
Q: Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down? A: There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in West Virginia?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q. What's the difference between a Marshall University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Why do Marshall grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Marshall University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over West Virginia?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Marshall University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of West Virginia's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Marshall University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: How many Marshall University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How do you make University of West Virginia cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Mountaineers wide receiver, a Mountaineers linebacker, and a Mountaineers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in West Virginia?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate an West Virginia Mountaineers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Whats the difference between the West Virginia Mountaineers and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do Marshall Thundering Herd students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Marshall Thundering Herd campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at Marshall University?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of West Virginia football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an West Virginia fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in West Virginia?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Marshall grad die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a West Virginia virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What do they call students who go to Marshall?
A: Rejects from West Virginia!
Q: What does a West Virginia fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do you call a West Virginia mountaineer in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.
Q: What do West Virginia and Marshall students have in common?
A: They both got in to Marshall
Q: What's the difference between an West Virginia football player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: Did you hear that Marshall's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Marshall grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an Marshall grads life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a West Virginia native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of West Virginia have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What do the University of West Virginia and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in West Virginia?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing an Marshall University girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What do you call an West Virginia football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Q: What is a West Virginia fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Connecticut."
Q: Why does a Mountaineers fan pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.
Q: How do you stop a West Virginia fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Connecticut Blue!
Q: What did the West Virginia female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Mountaineers fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Mountaineers games anymore?
A: The student who knew the recipe graduated
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in West Virginia? A: No one would look for them.
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