23
Got an invite that I won't be needing! Post your member# and tell me a joke.

  1. hockeyson28
    Jelly Bean Aug 1, 2014


  2. dhaliwal925
    Gingerbread Aug 1, 2014

  3. attax
    Ice Cream Sandwich Aug 1, 2014

    attax , Aug 1, 2014 :
    152995
    How to make a man and woman happy ?

    To make a woman happy ..... A man only needs to be:

    1. A friend
    2. A companion
    3. A lover
    4. A brother
    5. A father
    6. A master
    7. A chef
    8. An electrician
    9. A carpenter
    10. A plumber
    11. A mechanic
    12. A decorator
    13. A stylist
    16. A psychologist
    17. A pest exterminator
    18. A psychiatrist
    19. A healer
    20. A good listener
    21. An organizer
    22. A good father
    23. Very clean
    24. Sympathetic
    25. Athletic
    26. Warm
    27. Attentive
    28. Gallant
    29. Intelligent
    30. Funny
    31. Creative
    32. Tender
    33. Strong
    34. Understanding
    35. Tolerant
    36. Prudent
    37. Ambitious
    38. Capable
    39. Courageous
    40. Determined
    41. True
    42. Dependable
    43. Passionate

    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO :

    44. Give her compliments regularly
    45. Love shopping
    46. be honest
    47. be very rich
    48. Not stress her out
    49. Not look at other girls

    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

    53. Never to forget:
    * Birthdays
    * Anniversaries
    * Arrangements she makes

    &

    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

    1. Leave him alone
     

  4. duck401
    Cupcake Aug 1, 2014

    duck401 , Aug 1, 2014 :
    1.'How do you spell „Crocodile'?'
    „K-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l.'
    'The dictionary spells it „C-r-o-k-o-d-i-l-e'.'
    'You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it.'. :D

    And the second one :


    TEACHER:'Did your big brother help you with your homework?'
    PUPIL:'No, miss, he did all the work himself.'

    And thrid:
    3.

    Doctor, doctor, I lost my memory.'
    'When did this happen?'
    'When did what happen?'

    Yes you're right I looked some up because I'm not american and my common speech isn't that perfect - but I die it I told you three jokes and would like to get an invite

    Best wishes

    Duck401
     

  5. gpelekanos
    Honeycomb Aug 1, 2014


  6. DerAcidHead
    Eclair Aug 1, 2014


  7. Cmody
    Donut Aug 1, 2014

    Cmody , Aug 1, 2014 :
    A guy ends up with an older woman at a bar last. She looked pretty good for a 55-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all and he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

    They drank a couple of beers and she asked if he'd ever had a "Sportsman's Double"?

    "What's that?" the guy asked. "It's a mother and daughter threesome." she said.

    As the guy's mind began to embrace the idea and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, "No, I haven't."

    They drank a bit more,then she said with a wink, "Tonight's your lucky night."

    They hopped into a taxi and went back to her place.

    When they arrived back at her place and they walked into the front door, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs, "Mom... you still awake?"
     

  8. yaltis
    Jelly Bean Aug 1, 2014

    yaltis , Aug 1, 2014 :
    Your need for jokes in order to give an invite is a tingle of racism .
    YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED,
     

  9. haydenfrost
    Gingerbread Aug 1, 2014


  10. Paul Masvidal
    Eclair Aug 1, 2014


  11. etaggart542
    Honeycomb Aug 1, 2014

    etaggart542 , Aug 1, 2014 :
    #158966

    The man came home to find all of his lamps had been stolen. He was delighted.
     

  12. Faz
    Froyo Aug 1, 2014

    Faz , Aug 1, 2014 :
    62886

    You seen the movie called "Constipation"?

    Me neither, it never came out
     

  13. Monnroe
    Froyo Aug 1, 2014

    Monnroe , Aug 1, 2014 :
    137223
    A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt

    "What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

    The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
     

  14. Miller101
    Cupcake Aug 1, 2014


  15. Snot
    Donut Aug 1, 2014

    Snot , Aug 1, 2014 :
    #159059
    Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
    A: She can't find the eleven.
     

  16. teamnowak
    Gingerbread Aug 1, 2014

    teamnowak , Aug 1, 2014 :
    Member number: 122270

    Joke: Why did my member number get arrested?
    Because it was so high!
     

  17. Monnroe
    Froyo Aug 1, 2014

    Monnroe , Aug 1, 2014 :
    A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.

    "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

    "It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
     

  18. 1234Robin1234
    Cupcake Aug 1, 2014

    1234Robin1234 , Aug 1, 2014 :
    "Mommy! There's a Monster under my bed!"
    "That's silly there's no such thing as mo... OH GOD IT'S TEARING MY ARM! Kidding. He only eats kids. Goodnight."
     

  19. dilippokala
    Honeycomb Aug 1, 2014

    dilippokala , Aug 1, 2014 :
    Best & Funny Interview

    Officer : What is Your Name ?
    Candidate : M P.Sir,

    Officer : Tell Me Properly.
    Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir.

    Officer : Your Father's Name?
    Candidate : M P.Sir,

    Officer : What Does That Mean ?
    Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir.

    Officer : Your Native Place ?
    Candidate : M P.Sir.

    Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
    Candidate : No Munnur Pal Sir.

    Officer : What is Your Qualification ?
    Candidate : Metric Pass Sir.

    Officer : What does that Mean ?
    Candidate : Money Problem Sir.

    Officer : Describe Your Personality ?
    Candidate : M P.Sir.

    Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly ?
    Candidate : Mindblowing Personality Sir.

    Officer : The Discussion Is Now over,
    :):)Your May Go
    Now....:)
    Candidate : M P.Sir.

    Officer : huh..What Is It Now ??
    Candidate: My Performance Sir.

    Officer : M P.
    Candidate : :(What is It Sir,....?

    Officer: Mentally Puncturred:mad:.
    Candidate: M P.Sir,

    Officer : :)Now What is Thisss ????
    Candidate : My Pleasure Sir.o_O:rolleyes::)
     

  20. mad90
    Gingerbread Aug 1, 2014

    mad90 , Aug 1, 2014 :
    Bad joke:

    What is a frog in a mixer?

    Red.