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I'M GIVING AWAY INVITES ABOUT TO EXPIRE!!!! (3 LEFT)

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  1. mm619
    Eclair Aug 31, 2014

    mm619 , Aug 31, 2014 :
    Funny stories I have...jokes I do not
     

    #41
  2. Peka
    Cupcake Aug 31, 2014


    #42
  3. zuel
    Cupcake Aug 31, 2014

    zuel , Aug 31, 2014 :
    And it was necessary to put the asterisks to keep the comment clean.
     

    #43
  4. Tavishppinto14
    Honeycomb Aug 31, 2014


    #44
  5. nobelium76
    KitKat Aug 31, 2014


    #45
  6. Shafik Rahman
    Ice Cream Sandwich Aug 31, 2014

    Shafik Rahman , Aug 31, 2014 :
    One day, Tarzan and his monkeys friends were going to a lake for a bath. Just as Tarzan take off his shorts, the monkeys laugh loudly, so loud that they almost cry. Curious, Tarzan ask them why did they laugh and the monkey reply asking tarzan.

    "How come your tail is in front and not behind like us?"
     

    #46
  7. naoum atie
    Gingerbread Aug 31, 2014


    #47
  8. fazfactor
    Honeycomb Aug 31, 2014

    fazfactor , Aug 31, 2014 :
    I know 10 facts about you:
    Fact 1: You are reading this.
    Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
    Fact 3: You just tried it.
    Fact 4: You're smiling.
    Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
    Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
    Fact 8: You just checked it.
    Fact 9: You're smiling again.
    Fact 10: You like this
     

    #48
    kumarj likes this.
  9. mastodon6699
    Froyo Aug 31, 2014

    mastodon6699 , Aug 31, 2014 :
    Two pigs philosophers are walking down the street and arguing about is there a life after christmas! 8)
     

    #49
  10. HJ TAN
    Eclair Aug 31, 2014


    #50
  11. harshal_h4u
    Gingerbread Aug 31, 2014

    harshal_h4u , Aug 31, 2014 :
    Teacher: Why are you late?
    Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
    Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
    Student: No. I was standing on it.
     

    #51
  12. BWDiddy
    Donut Aug 31, 2014

    BWDiddy , Aug 31, 2014 :
    Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
    Student: "Meat!"
    Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
    Student: "Bacon!"
    Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
    Student: "Homework!"
     

    #52
  13. RideBike
    Jelly Bean Aug 31, 2014

    RideBike , Aug 31, 2014 :
    what about "you are full of shit"
     

    #53
  14. caibod
    Donut Aug 31, 2014

    caibod , Aug 31, 2014 :
    There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!


    The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be my goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
     

    #54
  15. ttownlion
    Gingerbread Aug 31, 2014

    ttownlion , Aug 31, 2014 :
    Three man are on a cliff and a genie come up and says "whatever you say,you will land in 30 tons of it if you jump off the cliff." The first man says Money and he lands in a bunch of money.The second man says gold and he lands in a bunch of gold. The third man tripped over a rock and said "Oh Shit
     

    #55
  16. Ticklishfriend
    Froyo Aug 31, 2014

    Ticklishfriend , Aug 31, 2014 :
    This young man moves to a small town and a new school, where he meets a nice girl and he asks her out on a date. The night of the date, the boy goes to the local pharmacy and gets condoms invade he gets lucky. So he goes to the girls house and they all sit at the table and eat dinner, after dinner the boy and the girl go to the movies and on the way to the movies the girl asks why he was so quiet during dinner. He responds with: "you should have told me your dad is the town pharmacist!"
     

    #56
    Shafik Rahman and MrBelvedere like this.
  17. juli.s
    Cupcake Aug 31, 2014


    #57
  18. aussie_pandit
    Cupcake Aug 31, 2014

    aussie_pandit , Aug 31, 2014 :
    this morning i was beaten by a busty woman in an elevator...
    i was staring at her boobs when she said "WOULD YOU LIKE TO PRESS ONE?"
    so i did.
    i don't remember much after that...
     

    #58
  19. robernt
    Donut Aug 31, 2014

    robernt , Aug 31, 2014 :
    What is the longest word in the English language?“Smiles”.
    Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!
     

    #59
  20. cuteamit2
    Honeycomb Aug 31, 2014


    #60