11
INVITE giveaway

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. yousuf
    Froyo Sep 16, 2014

    yousuf , Sep 16, 2014 :
    Hi Jarivdb

    Maid wanted a salary raise.
    Madam wanted 3 reasons why she wanted a raise
    Maid: I can cook better than you?
    Madam: Who told you that?
    Maid: Your husband told me!
    Madam: Ok, second reason
    Maid: I can iron better than you
    Madam: Who told you that
    Maid: Your husband told me
    Madam: Ok, and the third reason?
    Maid: I am also better in bed than you!
    This time madam was furious and she was getting ready to break her head
    Madam: Did my husband say that?
    Maid: No the driver told me that I'm better in bed than you
    Madam: Please lower your voice I will increase your salary.....

    Don't laugh alone .... Share!
     

    #81
    playedmarker likes this.
  2. yousuf
    Froyo Sep 16, 2014

    yousuf , Sep 16, 2014 :
    [
    A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'

    Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

    Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

    the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

    Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' Boy.: '9 .

    Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' Boy.: '36 .

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

    Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

    Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.

    Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

    Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'

    Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

    Boy.: 'Pockets.'

    Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

    Boy.: Coconut

    Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

    The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

    Boy.: Bubblegum

    Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

    The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

    Boy.: Shake hands

    Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

    Boy.: Tent

    Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

    The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

    Boy.: Wedding Ring

    Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

    Boy.: Nose

    Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

    Boy.: Arrow

    Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

    Boy.: Fire truck

    Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

    Boy.: Fork

    Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

    Boy.: SURNAME.

    Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

    Boy.: HEART.

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

    'Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'...
     

    #82
    playedmarker likes this.
  3. Praga
    Donut Sep 16, 2014

    Praga , Sep 16, 2014 :
    What is the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari ?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    You don't keep the Ferrari in your basement.
     

    #83
  4. VANGUARDAEP
    Eclair Sep 16, 2014


    #84
  5. yousuf
    Froyo Sep 16, 2014

    yousuf , Sep 16, 2014 :


    One day Jonso an ✈️aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots’ cockpit when he saw a book entitled “How to fly an aeroplane✈️ for beginners. Volume One”.

    He opened the first page which said, “To start the engine, press the red button.”.
    He did so and the airplane engine started.
    He was happy and opened the next page. “To set airplane moving press the blue button.”
    He did so and the ✈️aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.
    He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, “To let the aeroplane fly, please press the ♻️green button.”
    He did this and the plane started to ✈️✈️✈️fly.
    He was excited!!!!!!
    After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.

    He fainted after reading the instructions…….
    The fourth page read, “To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop!!!
     

    #85
  6. noisyloner
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2014


    #86
  7. voidy_void
    Froyo Sep 16, 2014

  8. dream2chase
    Donut Sep 16, 2014


    #88
  9. Pizza93
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2014


    #89
  10. Pizza93
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2014


    #90
  11. neider
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2014


    #91
  12. timjanssen
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2014

  13. kosmy
    Cupcake Sep 16, 2014


    #93
  14. Chiramisu
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 17, 2014

    Chiramisu , Sep 17, 2014 :
    Such a trite and offensive statement. :(
     

    #94
  15. Trudel
    Cupcake Sep 17, 2014


    #95
  16. hyder99
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 17, 2014


    #96
  17. hyder99
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 17, 2014


    #97
    theej likes this.
  18. theej
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 17, 2014

    theej , Sep 17, 2014 :
    just really have this great Oneplus Tip for you!!
    and especially very usefull when you love horses:

    https://forums.oneplus.net/threads/...-especially-for-those-who-love-horses.113671/
     

    #98
  19. hyder99
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 17, 2014

    hyder99 , Sep 17, 2014 :
    Sorry for duplicate post.
     

    #99
  20. theej
    Ice Cream Sandwich Sep 17, 2014

    theej , Sep 17, 2014 :
    double thanks!!!