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Johneebee's Geek-Culture Oneplus 6's #Sixfactor Review May 29, 2018

johneebee , May 29, 2018 :

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Yes ladies, gentleman and unicorns, in this panel Deadpool is eagerly waiting to order a chimichanga but by mistake his subconscious takes over (or one of the 2 other voices in his head) and he lets the waiter know that he wants an “enchilada”. Is this a mistake? I think not! He, as many others want indeed an, or better yet, THÉ enchilada, the codename of the phone better known as the oneplus 6!

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Hey why are you selecting my text, are you going to copy it? please don't, that will make me mad, and you won't like me when I'm mad!
This is going to be a review packed full of geek-culture, quotes and many other references. Some will be on the nose but some will be a bit harder to spot. I did a quick reread and I found around a 100. (after the contest is over I might put all of them down below as a spoiler) So if you’re bored or just feel up for the challenge, comment down below which ones you found and where they come from. So enjoy the ride and allons-y!
Ah! you found my invisibility cloak

Speed​

Faster then the eye!

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Say hello to my little friend, the oneplus 6. Thanks to the flux capacitor better known as the snapdragon 845 powering this beast of a phone and the amount of RAM (6 or 8GB) I couldn’t find anything that you could throw at this phone that might stop this unstoppable force. There is no trying for this phone, only do or do not. And great scot, not only that, this phone is packed with speed-force, something just as simple as moving from one screen to another that in most phones feels like it couldn’t even get any faster is actually noticeably faster here, believe it! In other phones there’s “cool” animation like a red or blue blur, but here it just goes by in a flash! It’s like the phone knows what you want to do sometimes. Yer a wizard oneplus? A jedi? My mom when I used to try to lie to her?(seriously she’s like a witch). And when talking about speed there’s one thing you can’t deny, this speedy Gonzales of a phone charges to MORE than 50% and is all fired up and ready to go before you can even say miep miep (if that takes you 30 minutes that is). Seriously this is not a question like if superman could be faster than the scarlet speedster (or lol quicksilver), no, this phone has thé fastest possible charger there is!
Not really a reference but anybody else excited for the incredibles 2?

Strength
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Do I think this phone has been hit by gamma rays and became all green and indestructible.. well no. No, I don’t find your lack of faith in how much this phone can handle disturbing at all. The phone is made from glass all over and yes quite slippery, but I saw it fall and thought Houston we have a problem, is it over already, but from like 30 centimetre above a desk it survived with only a tiny scratch of the paint on the bezel. I know.. it’s just a flesh wound. But this scare made me think that I need to order a cover right away, I don’t care how pretty the midnight black is, I won’t let my self be an idjit, the otterbox cover makes the phone just as pretty and might save my precious and my heart if it drops, and it’s not even like the question is if, the question is when this phone will fall out of my clumsy hands. On the positive note, even though oneplus does not give it an official IP rating (against water), it’s definitely splash resistant, so don’t worry when you look up and think to yourself, it looks like it’s beginning to rain. This phone can easily handle being in your pocket as you do 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats and then 10 kilometre run, every single day without a worry!

Pah pah pah pah Power
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With a great processor, ram, and not to forget, really good programming comes great power. Yea for those who aren’t known with oxygen OS, it’s a very clean version that looks like normal android but has almost no bloatware. It does have a huge amount of handy features that make the phone just go to infinity and beyond and help you customise the phone to your liking. But not over 9000 features so don’t worry that you’ll be overwhelmed. So yes it’s maybe not the droid you were looking for, but trust me it’s a customised version of android you deserve and need.
And this year if you look at the 64Gb version and somehow think, oh I’m going to need a bigger boat, worry not, because elementary my dear Watson, you can just buy the oneplus 6 that is even bigger on the inside, with 128 or 256Gb!

And the camera, there are some people that aren’t pleased with it as it is (and apparently oneplus is already making an upgrade to fix the issues most are talking about) but I personally don’t see how you could really be displeased with it, it’s a camera that fits in your pocket, it’s like they used Szalinzki's Shrinking Machine or pim-particles to shrink an actual good huge camera that you would see being used by reporters working at the daily planet and put it in a phone... Ms. Frizzle couldn’t do a better job. The pictures taken with this phone are just.. fantastic!

You wanna play a game? No worries, after installing some of the most demanding games like “real racing 3”, “fifa15 ultimate”, fortnite and of course candy crush the phone shall never tell you, I’m sorry Dave I’m afraid I can’t do that, the phone just hardly gets that hot and runs buttery smooth. The one +6 will keep letting you know that he will never give up, that’s just his ninja way.

Beauty
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Are you using your sharingan?
Holy moly this phone is a beauty! It’s not only what’s underneath that defines the oneplus 6. When people see this phone some are literally like “ooh, ahhh”, that's how it always starts. Then later they’re screaming that they want to know where it’s from. Some aren’t a fan of the notch at first, neither was I. But now I see it as a little bowtie on my phone, and who doesn’t think bowties are cool? I wish that instead of ok google, I could just say hello gorgeous or yeah baby yeah, to activate ok google but alllllrighty maybe one day I can choose what to say, that would be nice.
I chose the midnight black version (the matte variant) and dam it looks nice. When you shine a light over it you can see the shape of an “S” on the back. What does it stand for.. I don't know, maybe hope?
Clear-Clear Fruit

Comfort
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Now that summer is coming, I could hardly check my last phones screen because it wasn’t bright enough, but this baby has some bright light, bright light! And it is indeed a 1080p screen, but it’s a great 1080p screen and this is probably why the battery lasts for over 5hours and 30 minutes (screen on time) making it perfect to survive a whole week day without needing a charge. Sweet Christmas! All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us, so I wouldn’t know why anyone would really want or need anything more!
Careful now, you're in the "unseen world", invisible to physical beings like living men, but highly visible to other unseen beings like Ringwraiths and the eye of Sauron!

Delight!
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In brightest day, in blackest night, this phone will always bestow thee with sufficient light. The battery of this phone is a delight and can easily give you over (two times) 9000 seconds(5 hours) of SOT and still gives you more than 15% to reach the end of the day. A fun nifty trick is that except for taking easily pretty awesome selfies with the front facing camera (not taking in account the face I have to work with), now thanks to the mirror black version I can actually turn the phone over and use the mirror mirror on my phone (to show me I might not be the prettiest of them all), and align myself perfectly with the camera on the back. I now have started to call my phone, the phone of requirement (like the room of requirement in harry potter) since it can actually adjust itself to become better for certain tasks. If you want to game, put the gaming mode option on, and boom it works smooth like butter without any distractions. If you just want to use the phone to read, put the reading mode on and boom, now the phone uses less battery and it changes the screen to make it way more comfortable for your eyes.

The end?​

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending! Ya ta! This is the end of the line. And if my review sounded to positive for some and made them think that I’m a oneplus fanboy, well yes and no, I like them but I like any company that can offer me the best deal for my money. So yes long live the king Nah just kidding, I'm loyal to nothing, general… except the dream of having the best! So per my conclusion if you’d ask me if the oneplus 6 is the one for all, again yes and no. Yes, I would recommend it to everyone, this phone is supaaa for its price but there is not a phone that has the all for one power, some might prefer a phone with a better camera, or better speakers, or that isn’t made of glass, or they prefer wireless charging( improving those is what sequels are for, hint hint oneplus). But all the stuff you get for the unbelievable low price is just an offer that I for one can’t refuse.

" I never settle. What I cannot have, I will destroy. "
--Darkseid in the superman animated series
Omg omg omg he said the thing!!! (never mind that second sentence)

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