Lets Talk: Mental Health Awareness Month #break the stigma

  1. Adam Krisko
    NA Community Consultant Staff Member May 4, 2021

    Adam Krisko , May 4, 2021 :

    Hey all,

    There is a struggle that we all go through. Life. Life is by no means easy, and I want to be here for you all. So let’s talk.

    Let’s be honest, no one really gets kids ready for adult life, and it’s not the grown-up’s fault really. They try, like my parents, they did the best they could, and even though we were never really well off, my parents loved me and provided the best they could for me. But, they didn’t tell us that oftentimes you don’t feel like you know what you are doing. They don’t tell us the struggles of living as an adult. That anxiety that is brought on from the feeling of never doing things right, or that you always feel like someone is better at something than you. That feeling that you have to be strong for your family, when you are not mentally feeling strong yourself. That feeling at night where you can’t sleep because you are worried about everything that is going on in your life and if you are doing enough to provide for your family. Most likely because they were putting on a good show for us children. To show us how “strong” they can be for their children and family. But if you ask them, they will likely tell you (later in life of course) that they struggled with all these feelings. I feel all of these things. Every day.

    Today’s social media doesn’t help with this feeling either. We all put our best faces on social media. How “happy and successful we are” or “we’re loving life so much”... but more often than not, this is a lie. And to me, it needs to stop. WE need to stop perpetuating this idealized version of life that social media makes us want to show off to everyone. WE need to admit that oftentimes, things aren’t alright, and that is OKAY! None of us truly know what we are doing.

    I struggle greatly with ADD. A long time ago I used to struggle in school. Not necessarily with school work, as I never really had a problem with that, but focusing long enough on any one task that I could finish it. Homework was always a ***** to me, I’d know how to do it, or I’d learned it in class that day, so I never wanted to waste time on it at home. This was often a contention at home and caused me to get into a lot of trouble both in school and at home. I didn’t know it back then, but I had ADD.

    ADD affects each person individually, but to me, it manifests in a struggle day-to-day where it’s either super hard for me to focus or I’m hyper-focused. I can be deep in work for what seems like an hour but it’s only been 15 minutes. Or looking at something like 9gag for what I think is 5 minutes but suddenly it’s been 45 minutes and my legs are falling asleep. ;)

    In my adult life, working here with OnePlus, I find myself struggling too. ADD still affects me. Often, there is so much for me to do that I’m on the brink of being overwhelmed. And to be honest, most of the time it feels like I am an imposter, even though I know what I’m doing.

    We are a close community, and I wanted to bring to light that all of us have struggles. So again, let’s talk. We as a community are here for each other. If you need a sounding board. Talk. Tell me about your struggles. None of us can give you advice (we aren’t licensed for that thing) but sometimes just talking helps too. Tell me how you cope, or who you like to talk to. Don’t feel like you have to internalize it. There is no judging here, no embarrassment, just people to listen.

    TLDR: Life sometimes sucks and it feels like you don’t know what you are doing. That is OKAY! You are not alone. We all feel like this. We as a community should be able to talk to each other. There should be no stigma when it comes to talking about mental health.

    I implore you, please contact your local mental health center if you are on the brink of a breakdown. It’s important to make sure you find the help you need when you need it.

    Love to you all,

    Kerry W., Gabe_M, sumitMZ007 and 39 others like this.
  2. Antonio_Luis
    Ice Cream Sandwich May 4, 2021

    Antonio_Luis , May 4, 2021 :
    My brother 🙏. You made me cry after reading this post. Everything beside your individual personal struggles in this post felt like I could have wrote this. It feels like you were just speaking for me, or, to me. We try so much and we try so hard to be and show our best that we can often suppress our true feelings and our true emotions that it's too late.

    I'm very fortunate that I have people like you, and a few other close friends that have been checking up on me cause they could just tell something isn't right. We need to normalize being okay with not being okay lol. I have three kids a wife and a family that depend on me and sometimes I forget about myself. It happens. It's normal. But there comes a time when everything catches up to you and what do you do then?

    We need to open up. We need to express ourselves. We need to not be afraid to do so because just like this post, it gives me strength to speak about my problems and things that I'm going through. When you find the courage and the strength open up, you may not even know it but you're giving someone else the strength and courage to do the same. The struggle is lonely. The struggle can feel isolating. But when one person shows the strength and the courage to talk about this, it gives us all the strength and the courage to do the same.

    Thank you Adam for this post. This community is close and it's a huge part of why I haven't gone crazy during these crazy times. Again, everyone, do not be afraid to open up. And do not be afraid to get help if you feel that you may need it.

    Gabe_M, atenaa, meatandy and 15 others like this.
  3. Antonio_Luis
    Ice Cream Sandwich May 4, 2021

  4. Adam Krisko
    NA Community Consultant Staff Member May 4, 2021

    Adam Krisko , May 4, 2021 :
    This is so true.

  5. cdnfarmer
    Photography Expert Community Expert May 4, 2021

    cdnfarmer , May 4, 2021 :
    Hey Adam,

    It is good to read your story. I think many can relate. It's easy to ignore or try to pretend all is good. And yes it is ok to take a break and say yes I'm struggling. Getting help is a sign of strength imo.

    There are many great people in this community. There are some that helped save my life in some really difficult times. Sometimes, the smallest gestures can make the biggest differences.

    Even recently a friend tries to make the best of the current situation. It is a struggle so I called her and we talked several times that weekend and it helped. Decided to make a card and mailed it to her. That made her day and helped.

    A couple of years ago, there was discussion on mental health.
    Think there are good stories and the book that came out of it.

    Thanks for the good post and encouraging people to look at their situation and get help when needed. A very important topic and even moreso with the covid situation worldwide.

    Take care all.

  6. Yash Pratap Singh.
    Lollipop May 4, 2021

    Yash Pratap Singh. , via OnePlus 7T , May 4, 2021 :
    Thanks for the thread @Adam Krisko.
    I think it is common for all Indian students like me who are staying at home since March 2020 doing online studies - to get distracted easily. I couldn't think of spending a day without talking to my school friends earlier...but nowadays, a whole month passes without realising that I haven't called anyone of them. And there's only so much you can do if you have 8-10 hrs of online classes each day sitting in a room.

    We all had expected things to resolve before we went to class 12th (i.e. this year) but situation went the opposite way and worsened.

    I wish I could return to my school, to my coaching to study in the original way again with my classmates, sitting in a classroom with a teacher in front of me, instead of a room, alone, staring at a white screen (I.e. Zoom whiteboard). Teachers work hard to ensure our studies, but even good teachers are not able to teach good in online classes (Zoom, meets, etc.). And in the end, we have to self study with YouTube or any other books. If it was not for OnePlus community, I cannot imagine how I would've been without any interaction with others (I'm not on any social media currently except this community).

    I talk to some friends my age like @McJader and @Tilak G. and @Aarav Sahni and I enjoy each and every moment of chatting with them. They're now even closer to me than my school friends from whom I have completely cut-off.

    Parents try to help reduce my online isolation by occasionally coming to my room and asking what I'm studying, but being from a non-science background, there's only so much that I can tell them. And however close a parent's relationship may be, but there are some things that you can talk only with your friends 👀

    (Subjects like Chemistry are totally ruined in online classes, some peeps might relate with that)

    TLDR: Online classes are....'not good' and I miss offline school sooo much

    Anyways, life goes on, and we should go along with it. 🙃
    Last edited: May 4, 2021

  7. nmatheis
    US Brand Ambassador May 4, 2021

    nmatheis , via OnePlus Community App , May 4, 2021 :
    Thanks, Adam!

    I started experiencing random anxiety attacks about five years ago. Luckily they aren't frequent, but I never know when they will occur or what will trigger them. When it happens, it's a very out of control feeling. The first time it happened, I didn't know what it was and thought I was having a heart attack so I went immediately to the hospital. My heart rate was bouncing between 60 and 120 BPM even though I was laying on the bed for observations. Thankfully my anxiety disorder isn't severe, but it has given me a glimpse of what others with more severe anxiety are experiencing and my thoughts and support go out to them!

  8. rh94
    Honeycomb May 4, 2021

    rh94 , via OnePlus 3T , May 4, 2021 :
    Nice piece of article. I really appreciate the effort you took here. In this tough situation of Covid even the strongest felt this mental trauma. We all went through something that emotionally hurt us and still give us nightmares. Hope the situation gets better. Thanks again and may god help us all 🙏

  9. Mr. BG
    Community Hero 2020 May 4, 2021

    Mr. BG , May 4, 2021 :
    I've learned that we all stumble through life, just like learning to walk or cycle we have to keep trying until we get there. But there really is no getting there, is there...?

    Thanks for sharing this Adam, no matter how successful people seem, there's always the child within, doubting itself, it's abilities, do others love or even like me, am I weird?

    I always say growing up is a trap, this notion of having it all together, know where you stand and where you're going, whilst in reality we're struggling to make the next step.

    Especially in these times it's even harder to have the occasional good talk with a friend, to feel connected and at least know and feel you're not alone.

    Edit: I remember I made a "Having a really bad day" thread which was meant to give support, alas, I got trolled silly :rolleyes:
    Last edited: May 4, 2021

  10. script
    Moderator Moderator May 4, 2021

    script , May 4, 2021 :

  11. Tokolozi
    Most Original Avatar May 4, 2021

    Tokolozi , May 4, 2021 :
    That's so true, in reality everyone faces issues not knowing what to do next... Only way we can learn is trough experiences and getting back up after our failures.

  12. Bobbie63
    Marshmallow May 4, 2021

    Bobbie63 , May 4, 2021 :
    It shows we all got demons, big or small. Can we conquer these demons? Some we can others we can't. We can't solve all our personal issues but we can try to live with them, give them a place and and coexist.

    Having people around you that are willing to listen, accepting who you are and showing their interest is a greater good. Also be ready to listen to others, in a simalar position or a whole different situation. Life isn't a one way street and, it's about to give and take but important: accept yourself!

  13. Caomhin
    OnePlus 9 Series Expert Community Expert May 4, 2021

    Caomhin , May 4, 2021 :
    @Adam Krisko, excellent thread, there is not one person on the planet who sails through life without one issue or another. We all have personal issues, demons of one sort or another from time to time. Some are willing to share, others hold back and hope the problem passes.

    I am in a WhatsApp men's mental health group, who have never met one another, but watching each share their thoughts has brought relief to many in that group. A lot of participants have helped others out of situations, whether that would be by the group all supporting an individual who is in a crisis. Or even a call from one of the members. All are still there, some have been brought back from the brink of self harm.

    I find that in this day and age of social media and the pressures it can put on people, there is also the other side and how the same social media can bring out the humanity in people and it can be used for good.

    It does take a certain willingness of the person to see they have a problem, but when they become part of a group such as the one I am in. They see they are not the only ones having similar problems. They can relate to other people discussing their issue, and in most cases are willing to talk.

    And that's the crux of it. Talking, whether that be online, email, phone etc. It's the start of a positive solution.

    Anyway, just wanted to congratulate you on such a positive thread. And hope it helps someone or many to get onto a path, where they are in some way comfortable with life. 👍

  14. McJader
    Marshmallow May 4, 2021

    McJader , May 4, 2021 :
    What a candid thread Adam, thanks for this, it feels like this really comes from your heart.
    I on a personal level, have/had quite a few emotional issues, but in the past I've dealt with them, by.....not dealing with them.
    In the recent past, i.e., the last two years, the pandemic has made me totally change my mindset. I have stopped caring about others' opinion, and just doing what makes me happy, and I've found that to be truly freeing.
    After all, life is a big joke;)

  15. Yash Pratap Singh.
    Lollipop May 4, 2021

    Yash Pratap Singh. , May 4, 2021 :
    That's the mindset I need...could same me some warning points too :p

  16. youbi
    Assistant Head Moderator Assistant Head Moderator May 4, 2021

    youbi , May 4, 2021 :
    @Adam Krisko congrats for doing once again a great thread.

    The truth is that we live in age when everyone is expected to look role models and with no issues at all. Basically we all have to be Mr and Ms Perfect.

    Life isn't perfect, and people shouldn't have that constant pressure of being so. But currently with the social media we have, where people just keep sharing their happy side of life (even when it's all just a lie and something staged for that photo/video) it really ends up making things worse.

    The cherry on top of this cake ends up being the weird pandemic days we are living in, where people are working/studying more from home and with many times without even being able to go outside. Let's hope this days will end soon. And we can get back to having some normality in our life's.

    Above all, we need to keep in mind that we need to try to let it out, and talk with others so that we can see that we aren't alone, and that everyone has their life issues, and that we have to keep living day by day, and trying to make the best we can of each day.
    Last edited: May 4, 2021

    atenaa, buntycubal, Dresa91 and 10 others like this.
  17. Aarav Sahni
    Ice Cream Sandwich May 4, 2021

    Aarav Sahni , via OnePlus 7 , May 4, 2021 :
    I highly agree with what yash has to say and I think every student of about our age would agree with him.

    I myself haven't been in touch with any of my friends , I was isolated in the room physically as well as virtually (no interaction with anyone) but it was @Yash Pratap Singh. , @Tilak G. , @McJader who kept the chats on the forum filled with entertaining content.

    I am also thankful to the rest of the members especially the Wormies that have kept me going on with positivity. They have made it a point to see to any person having any issues and making that person happy with the never ending humour that they possess

  18. Tilak G.
    Ice Cream Sandwich May 4, 2021

    Tilak G. , May 4, 2021 :
    Thank you for this Thread @Adam Krisko,It is very thoughtful of you to write this thread and give confidence to many stating it is okay to be not okay.

    We are all struggling. Struggling with things, with people with situations, even with our own feelings. Some of us hide the pain so much better than others, but hiding doesn’t equate to healing.

    It’s not that we don’t want to get better, of course, we do, but we somehow just never get there. Since lockdown I've faced wo much trauma on my studies and few other issues. But Friends from the community Always helped to me have a hope and cheered me up with their words no matter how miserable i was. But it also gave me time to know myself very well, learn to accept things the way they are and Know that everything is going to be okay. Though it may not but it was that hope that kept me going forward and holding up fine.

    I relalised that there will always be something that won’t be right, something that will keep you up at night, something that will make your heart sink, but Remembered time heals everything. That everything happens for a reason and it's all a blessing in disguise.

    I'm grateful that no matter how miserable shape I was in,The Community Family always helped me cheer with their kind words and I couldn't be any more grateful to the wonderful friends who I can glady share anything I'm struggling with. @Yash Pratap Singh. @Aarav Sahni @McJader and @Nipu_1998 and many more.

    But by the end of the day And all of a sudden you’ll look back and wonder where it all went, because happiness is like the sun, there will always be a sunrise that follows the sunset.

    Thank you again Adam for this.

  19. Yash Pratap Singh.
    Lollipop May 4, 2021

    Yash Pratap Singh. , May 4, 2021 :
    Damn dude, your writing skills are impeccable!
    Why don't you write a thread, now that you're free?
    Check PM for a draft 😉

  20. Adam Krisko
    NA Community Consultant Staff Member May 4, 2021

    Adam Krisko , May 4, 2021 :
    Does anyone have anything to help cope? I like to watch people play Mario maker on twitch my favorites are https://www.twitch.tv/carlsagan42 (Slightly NSFW, he swears a bit, but he's a wonderful scientist and a mental health advocate) and https://www.twitch.tv/dgr_dave (a family-friendly streamer)

    May I also suggest (if you play games) that Celest is a wonderful game about getting over internal demons. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celeste_(video_game)

    Personally, I tend to TRY to meditate, but it's hard having a 3-year-old running around. But it's the little things that count, right?