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[Let’s Talk] Who do you see when you see yourself in the mirror?

  1. BobbyV8_
    The Showcase Reviewer Aug 1, 2018


    #21
  2. NeverGiveUpOnUrDreams
    Lollipop Aug 1, 2018

    NeverGiveUpOnUrDreams , Aug 1, 2018 :
    i must say, you were too quick for my liking, now go back and read my post(hint ninja)

    thanks for the quote and the message
     

    #22
  3. Bobbie63
    Marshmallow Aug 1, 2018

    Bobbie63 , Aug 1, 2018 :
    Oops, missed it.

    Ah, so you don't need a road, you just need to go back and follow the footprint you left behind.
     

    #23
  4. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 1, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 1, 2018 :
    Hmmm, figured out it's not really fair to ask the community this and not write what I see myself.

    Be right back. But thanks to everyone that wrote something already. I would kiss you all if I could. Oh my :p
     

    #24
  5. Akhshay Srinivasan
    Nougat Aug 1, 2018

    Akhshay Srinivasan , Aug 1, 2018 :
    It's okay bud, you aren't that scary to see yourself :tearsofjoy:
     

    #25
    kamalendra jeet rana and Mjo like this.
  6. Akhshay Srinivasan
    Nougat Aug 1, 2018

    Akhshay Srinivasan , Aug 1, 2018 :
    Why it isn't fair to create a good thread ?

    Writing about a mirror is something to say nothing.

    Kiss the kids ? Nope thanks :p
     

    #26
    kamalendra jeet rana and Mjo like this.
  7. N1533139125780
    Donut Aug 1, 2018


    #27
    kamalendra jeet rana likes this.
  8. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 3, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 3, 2018 :
    When I see myself in the mirror I see a person that usually doesn’t belong.

    I have memories from my childhood, observing other kids playing and me, there, like I was watching a diorama of happiness come to life. I wanted to belong to that group, say hello, be accepted and experience that happiness for myself - because I also remember this: having the perfect notion those childhoods were happier than mine, more carefree.

    This was decades ago, but that feeling, even if transmuted, is here almost every single day. I changed during these years, obviously, but I feel I spent all my life trying to fit in, trying to be a piece of a completed puzzle. And I feel tired sometimes and see a person that’s tired, so tired of feeling not a tiny part of a collective hug, a radiant and warm chain of relief where I can finally rest.

    I don’t see a hermit or a person that dived on a sea of sadness years ago. I see a person that, despite that, was lucky. I was loved and I loved. Like a rollercoaster, I also see the person that was up there, up on the top, that second when you feel, this, I want to be here; that second that you know it won’t last. However, I was able to keep that second like a fossil in amber.

    I see a person made out of that love. Because that feeling is so vivid, it’s not scarred in every thing my eyes see, but permanently painted on my own eyes.

    I see a high and a low, a multiplication; I see a person like a hydra; I see a person that doesn’t care about looks, because one person, one time, said I was not ugly and I smiled looking her on those beautiful eyes, because sometimes your looks matter for one pair of eyes during your whole life.

    I see a person that fitted within that love knowing perfecting well he won’t fit elsewhere. I feel like a humanization of the rollercoaster I mentioned before; I feel like the humanization of luck, because I feel only a few are this lucky and I feel there isn’t much more for me to feel, because what I feel when I see that person on the mirror today is a mere sample of what I’ve felt before.

    Lucky those who feel like this, even if that comes with a few side effects; lucky, me, who can see a person loved like that. And even luckier, me, who can see so many people on my own mirror when I’m the only one looking at it. A desperate lucky soul like a fly trapped in water, a desperate feeling craving that those memories never disappear - because that would also mean I was fading away.

    I try desperately to fit in and be part, but I also see a person that’s starting to think that maybe that’s never going to happen. And a person that’s happy knowing he will die after he tried. I tried something, I feel like I’ve lived the best I could, and seeing that person, also there, when I look in the mirror, makes everything worth.

    So, I see a person that’s tired, scarred and scared, with eyes painted by yesteryears love of a lifetime, but a person that, not being that old, also feels he went, he tried and he lived. I don’t aspire to be 80 years old, but to die hoping that when I look at the mirror for the last time I’m proud of that man. Not because of what he accomplished, but because of what he tried and, especially, because of what he felt.

    @Ruby G. here's some light reading for the weekend :)
     

    #28
  9. N1533139125780
    Donut Aug 3, 2018

    N1533139125780 , Aug 3, 2018 :
    wow that's a lot of things you saw.
     

    #29
    kamalendra jeet rana likes this.
  10. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 3, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 3, 2018 :
    That's a lot of things I've lived.
     

    #30
    Mjo and rohitanand like this.
  11. N1533139125780
    Donut Aug 3, 2018

    N1533139125780 , Aug 3, 2018 :
    Me too. I am a person suffering with bipolar...once bipolar, bipolar for life.
     

    #31
  12. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 3, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 3, 2018 :
    Hey,

    First, please tell me you are seeking professional help.

    Second, I don't know you, you have literally have 3 messages here, so welcome to the forums and if you feel like talking about it, I'm here for you.
     

    #32
    Mjo and yourdesiredusername like this.
  13. N1533139125780
    Donut Aug 3, 2018

    N1533139125780 , Aug 3, 2018 :
    I am actively seeking professional help. currently on the road of recovery.
     

    #33
  14. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 3, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 3, 2018 :
    That's so great to read - that you are seeking professional help and that you are currently recovering.

    That's the first step, I feel, from my own experience with mental health - and please have in mind I was never diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but with other crap.

    Another advice I can give you: please please stick with the medication and don't change it before you talk to your doctor. It's the best advice I can give you, even if it freaking sucks sometimes.
     

    #34
    buntycubal, Mjo and N1533139125780 like this.
  15. N1533139125780
    Donut Aug 3, 2018

    N1533139125780 , Aug 3, 2018 :


    Cheetosdust

    That's so great to read - that you are seeking professional help and that you are currently recovering.

    That's the first step, I feel, from my own experience with mental health - and please have in mind I was never diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but with other crap.

    Another advice I can give you: please please stick with the medication and don't change it before you talk to your doctor. It's the best advice I can give you, even if it freaking sucks sometimes.​


    Agree. I am using talk, music, meditation, medication therapy, etc
     

    #35
    Mjo and rohitanand like this.
  16. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 3, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 3, 2018 :
    That's great, you talking about it with your friends and loved ones, and everything you mentioned (I also believe music can truly help a person).

    But all that, like I mentioned, on top of the professional help.

    And I don't care if you joined these forums today or four years ago, you are welcome here, and if you need anything that you think will make you feel a little bit better, you can count on me :)

    I just wish you can continue your road to recovery!
     

    #36
    Mjo and N1533139125780 like this.
  17. TheRealGamer
    Lollipop Aug 3, 2018


    #37
    Mjo and rohitanand like this.
  18. Cheetosdust
    Starting Point Expert Aug 3, 2018

    Cheetosdust , Aug 3, 2018 :
    I think everyone is, or at least that everyone feels that at some point.

    I know I do :)
     

    #38
  19. TheRealGamer
    Lollipop Aug 3, 2018

    TheRealGamer , Aug 3, 2018 :
    Yeah, you're right. I thought I am at that point (for Now)
     

    #39
  20. N1533139125780
    Donut Aug 4, 2018

    N1533139125780 , Aug 4, 2018 :
    Thanks so much my friend. My heart goes out to everyone who's suffering in silence. Please seek help, do not suffer alone.
     

    #40
    Mjo and Cheetosdust like this.