make me laugh and receive an invite

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  1. Big Ben
    Jelly Bean Sep 8, 2014

    Big Ben , Sep 8, 2014 :
    "a big plus" you certainly have a way with words.
    good show

  2. Big Ben
    Jelly Bean Sep 8, 2014

    Big Ben , Sep 8, 2014 :
    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

    On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

    "What?" said the puzzled groom.

    "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

    "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

    Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

    Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

    Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

    Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

    Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

    Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

    Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

    Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

    Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

    "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

    "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!

  3. rodriguez.da
    Jelly Bean Sep 8, 2014

    rodriguez.da , Sep 8, 2014 :
    A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister.

    "What are you doing?" he asks.

    She answers, "Warming up your dinner."

  4. Big Ben
    Jelly Bean Sep 8, 2014

    srsfknbzns likes this.
  5. m1cr0man
    Cupcake Sep 8, 2014

    m1cr0man , Sep 8, 2014 :
    Allow me to describe my current phone (LG Optimus 2X) Like you would describe any dieing animal.
    It suffers from high body temperatures, asthma, stiffness and occasional fainting.
    Doctors have put it on a weekly dosage of CM11 updates, but to no avail. Its symptoms get worse by the day, most recently the inability to play videos. They say it will live another month at best, but even I doubt that.
    "What's the soultion?" You are left wondering. Well its quite simple really, out with the old, in with the new! Time to get a OnePlus One.

  6. Nilesh Sajnani
    KitKat Sep 8, 2014

    TeamValor91 and DRCH like this.
  7. DRCH
    Marshmallow Sep 8, 2014

    TeamValor91 and Nilesh Sajnani like this.