My F***ing Oneplus One Review (Explicit)

  1. colts5609
    Ice Cream Sandwich Jul 30, 2014

    colts5609 , Jul 30, 2014 :
    UPDATE: I have my own tech review site! Check out this review and many others at epictechreview.com! NOTE! This review is HEAVILY ******* moderated, check out the original here. One year update OnePlus One Year Later

    I see a lot of reviews of the OnePlus One. Reviews with no ******* class, so here you go. Keep in mind, I am not a professional writer, I am just a mortal man.

    My OnePlus is about a week old, and its ******* fantastic! At $350, this 64GB superphone is a ******* steal!

    Build Quality & Design Shit 9/10

    The One's build quality rivals that of the big assholes (Samsung, Apple, HTC, etc.) The phones construction is about as solid as it comes. There is no give/wiggle to anything, the textured back feels amazing and very premium. The metal lip around the edges add a nice touch, if your into that kind of shit. The only thing I do not like about the design is the placement of the camera.
    When the OPO is lying flat on it back, the only thing that touches the surface, is the textured back and the ******* camera bezel. Minor design flaw, but annoying. Solution, get a god damn case, and quit being such a reckless little shit. Same goes for the screen, if you lay the phone screen side down, on a sidewalk, at the beach, etc. You're a ******* idiot. There is virtually no lip separating the screen face from the body.

    The power button and volume rocker are both very tiny relative to the phone. But they do have a nice tactile feel when using them. If you can ******* find them. The buttons only protrude about 1 mm (I don't know exactly) from the sides of the phone. Making them quite difficult to find. However, luckily the power button isn't as necessary considering the OPO has a tap to wake screen option, much like that LG G2/3 piece of shit.

    Overall the design is understated and very simple. The front of the phone is a solid piece of glass and is very sexy, void of any logos reminding you who your daddy is. This should be law.

    Software and Performance 10/10

    I wont go too far into Cyanogen mod, but if you have no idea what it is, what the **** are you doing here? Look it up now, go no further. If you need more info, use that ******* magnifying glass thing in the upper right hand corner.

    Coming from a Nexus 5, I am a huge fan of stock Android. I usually enjoy the stock experience for a little while before I decide to root and unlock my devices, I get bored very quickly (thus this shitty review). With Cyanogenmod, you get the best of both worlds. Even though the OPO does not come with an unlocked bootloader and is not rooted straight from the factory, the level of customization is unparalleled compared to the rest of the smartphone world. For most people, there probably isn't much need to root or unlock. You can basically experience the benefits of rooting, unlocking, and customs ROM's with having to do anything. Good for those folks who have always had a stock phone or who have always been too afraid to dabble with their "precious".

    Performance wise, the OnePlus One is a ******* rocket ship. The Snapdragon 801 processor makes Cyanogen mod it's *****. It is fastest phone I have ever owned (duh). Benchmarks are through the roof, for $350 you will not get a faster device. My Antutu score was around 37500! The only slowdowns I have had can mostly be attributed to bugs and shit that CM is currently working on fixing. For those that tinker and want to unlock the full potential of their device, unlocking the bootloader and rooting are god damn child's and can easily be done by a noob. Not to mention the fact that unlocking and rooting WILL NOT void your warranty. So mod away you daring son of a *****.

    Display 9/10

    Now, onto the topic of so much controversy. Many would say that OnePlus really dropped the ball here. I own a yellow band phone, there is a definite yellowish band near the bottom of the display. Some yellowing cases may be worse than others, but I find that in my case, the yellowing is not a very big deal and can easily be overlooked. But that will not stop crybabies from bitching that the OPO isn't 100% perfection. The RMA process looks like it is a major pain in the fuckin ***, so I don't see the point. Not to mention the fact that RMAing the OPO is expensive as hell and would require me to get a temporary phone while OP works on the OPO. So **** that. Time will tell if this problem will simply go away or if this is something we will need to live with for the duration of out OPO ownership. Screen score would be 10/10, but I got to take some shit off for the yellowing issue.

    Yellowing bullshit aside, the screen is the tits, no other way to put it. 1080P resolution is perfectly fine for my eyes, I have near perfect vision, and I cannot see any pixelation from a normal distance, about an arms length away. 1440P would be great for the OnePlus Two, but 1080 is just fine. Details are extremely crisp, pictures and videos look amazing. Outside, the screen is certainly usable, a lot better than my old Nexus 5. Viewing angles are as good as you can get, content is view-able from basically any angle below 180°.

    The touch sensitivity, can be a pain in the ***. This probably falls more into the software category, but then I would have to copy and paste this paragraph, and I am way to fuckin lazy for that. I have noticed that the screen can be quite sensitive if you do not apply perfect direct pressure. Like when you drag your finger across the screen and it registers that you tapped the screen and the some bullshit opens you didn't want to open. The touch gestures also need alot of work. I have turned off all touch gestures because that shit would always go off in my pocket, or by just grabbing the phone out of my pocket. I still leave tap to wake turned on. But this causes a problem with the lock screen. After waking the phone, the lock slider rarely ever works on first contact. You either have to wait for a second or double tap the lock icon to unlock the phone. I hear all of this shit is software related, so lets hope they get an update out quickly.

    Camera 9/10
    The 13MP camera will be good for most people who are not looking to photograph their friends wedding. The OPO camera is not replacement for a DSLR, but you can probably leave your piece of shit 5 year old, 6MP Canon pocket shooter at home. It is a decent point and shoot camera. I have noticed that most camera shots come out quite well, it tends to struggle in low light situations a bit. But so does just about every single smartphone camera on the planet. You can find shit loads of OPO camera samples anywhere online, so I will refrain from showing you my ******* cat.

    The OPO lacks OIS (image stabilization) which sucks, but makes up for it in image quality and pixel count IMO. If you have a steady enough hand, you should be able to grab some decent photos. CM gives you all kinds of options for taking your photos, and editing tools to boot. Swiping up and down on the screen will allow you to quickly change shooting modes.

    Video recording is also on par with the latest and greatest smartphones. All of the standard options and resolutions are available. There is even a 4K option if you are one of the 5 people on earth with both a 4K TV and a OnePlus One. So let me know how that works, I don't even see the point in testing it. Its a nice feature to have, but will probably go unused by most people.

    Network Connectivity 10/10

    I am on T-Mobile here in the Midwest. Say what you will about us mid-westerners, but were the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. And say what you will about T-Mo, but in the city, T-Mobile whoops Verizon, and AT&T's ***. Get out of the city and you quickly realize why T-Mobile charges less than both of those providers. But **** Verizon and AT&T, cant stand either of em. Left Verizon in back in January and could not be happier. As far as signal strength goes, the OPO holds its own vs the Nexus 5. I have not noticed much of a difference in 4G LTE network connectivity, if anything network strength may be a little bit stronger. I have yet to experience a dropped call while at work.

    Call Quality 10/10

    When I call people, they hear me, and vise versa. The OPO makes phone calls, this feature makes it a smartphone, rather than a really small tablet. This rarely used feature may or may not make it onto the OnePlus Two.

    Battery Life 9/10

    Wow! This ***** can handle an *** kicking. The 3100mAh battery in the OPO is no slouch. It can easily get me through a day of heavy multitasking and and random shenanigans. Usually with juice to spare. Even heavy porn power users should be able to get a full days use without a problem. I usually only charge at night so I have no idea how fast it charges, but I hear it is top notch. About 2-3 hours from zero to full.

    I am docking a point simply because OP decided to omit wireless ******* charging. Something I immediately missed coming from my Nexus 5. So I purchased a universal wireless receiver from Amazon to go underneath my case, so hopefully, this cheap and easy fix will allow me to use my wireless chargers again. UPDATE: It sucks!


    I am sure there is not a single word in my review that has either increased or decreased your likelihood of purchasing the Nexus 5 OnePlus One. But, for $350 you will not find a better phone.

    Last edited: May 10, 2016

  2. shojus
    Froyo Jul 30, 2014

  3. ud1pri1990
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

  4. gmo8492
    Lollipop Jul 30, 2014

  5. Syre
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

  6. mahar
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

    abhinavsg likes this.
  7. cjak1985
    Honeycomb Jul 30, 2014

  8. ladorno3970
    Froyo Jul 30, 2014

  9. Fady
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

    supertweak15 and abhinavsg like this.
  10. grav3h3art
    Jelly Bean Jul 30, 2014

    ronoldo and abhinavsg like this.
  11. Android the Greek
    Jelly Bean Jul 30, 2014

    abhinavsg likes this.
  12. JoshD422
    Honeycomb Jul 30, 2014

  13. gt5679a
    Ice Cream Sandwich Jul 30, 2014

    gt5679a , Jul 30, 2014 :
    Glad I got to read it before it gets cleaned up (which I assume it will). Thanks for sharing.

    Axara, IWantOneNow, abhinavsg and 2 others like this.
  14. zekedaddy
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

    zekedaddy , Jul 30, 2014 :
    You had me at "Explicit" ;)
    Now I'll got and read the whole review. :D

    Edit: This was actually enjoyable to read. Nicely done!
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014

  15. ar1ntx
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

  16. Hasaan12
    Jelly Bean Jul 30, 2014

    Pranjal.Cmod likes this.
  17. CLZplusJr
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

    Pranjal.Cmod, zaryab and Flavy11269 like this.
  18. rustax
    Gingerbread Jul 30, 2014

    rustax , Jul 30, 2014 :
    Fucktastic review! You should consider making a career on doing reviews. I would definitely read them. :D
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014

  19. One+Junkie
    Honeycomb Jul 30, 2014

  20. saucy
    Jelly Bean Jul 30, 2014