one invite to give away

  1. nigelhealy
    KitKat Aug 15, 2014

    nigelhealy , Aug 15, 2014 :
    Superman was kinda bored so he just started flying around looking for something to do. He's flying over Wonder Woman's house and sees her bedroom window is open. He stops for a glimpse and sees her lying on her bed naked. She's lying there and squirming around looking real hot.

    Superman was getting turned on looking at her so he decides what the hell, I can just fly in real quick, give her the ole' in-out and be out of there before she even knows what hit her. After all he is Superman. So, in he goes, wham-bam and he's out of there.

    Wonder Woman knew something happened and says, "What was that?" The invisible man says, "I don't know but, damn, is my *** sore."

    Joe Dakes

  2. jeffyng
    Eclair Aug 15, 2014

  3. shippage
    Cupcake Aug 15, 2014

    shippage , Aug 15, 2014 :
    haha funny joke!

  4. maurini
    Nougat Aug 15, 2014

    maurini , Aug 15, 2014 :
    ..this is my sister...

    libormahdal likes this.
  5. QoTheGreat
    Eclair Aug 15, 2014

  6. Bluetooth81
    Cupcake Aug 15, 2014

    Bluetooth81 , Aug 15, 2014 :
    A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.

    "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.

    "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.

    "What do you mean?" the teacher asks.

    "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a ***** in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."

  7. shippage
    Cupcake Aug 15, 2014

  8. shubham_jaiswal
    Donut Aug 15, 2014

  9. itsasecret
    Gingerbread Aug 15, 2014

  10. insertname
    Donut Aug 15, 2014

    insertname , Aug 15, 2014 :
    Trying to pick up a woman that has a boyfriend:

    "Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean I can't score"

  11. Pranaw
    Ice Cream Sandwich Aug 15, 2014

    Shery4life likes this.
  12. bbroskey
    Honeycomb Aug 15, 2014

    bbroskey , Aug 15, 2014 :
    A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!

    maurini likes this.
  13. driez
    Ice Cream Sandwich Aug 15, 2014

  14. libormahdal
    Froyo Aug 15, 2014

    libormahdal , Aug 15, 2014 :
    Nope, specially for you is my first post ;)

    maurini likes this.
  15. libormahdal
    Froyo Aug 15, 2014

  16. AlexNJ
    Froyo Aug 15, 2014

  17. nanku71
    Froyo Aug 15, 2014

    nanku71 , Aug 15, 2014 :
    And the Bat Mobil too :)

  18. Alcook
    Cupcake Aug 15, 2014

    Alcook , Aug 15, 2014 :
    So there was this slightly introverted high school student who had never asked a girl to a dance. It’s his senior year and he feels that he should go to prom. So he musters up the courage and asks one of his friends. She says yes. Now he has to prepare for the dance. The next day, he goes to buy his tickets, and there is a huge line. So he waits, and waits, and waits, then he finally gets the tickets. The next day, he goes with his date to go get a dress. When they get to the store, there is a huge line going out the door. So the wait, they wait, and they wait. Finally, they get to the front and buy a dress. After this, they go to men’s warehouse to get him a suit for the dance, and there is a huge line going out the door. So they wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get in and buy a nice suit. The next day, he remembers that he needs to order a corsage. So he goes to the local store and there is a huge line. So he waits, waits, and waits until he gets his order in. Now it’s the day before prom and he wakes up and realizes that he forgot to order a limo, so he calls up the limo rental place. All the lines are busy so he decides to go into the place. When he gets there, he sees the line stretching out the door and around the corner. So he waits, and waits, and waits, until finally he was lucky enough to get the very last limo. So now it’s the night of the dance and when they get to the prom, the school is doing mandatory drug testing, so there is a huge line getting into the prom. So the wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get to the front and they both pass their drug tests. Now the dance was going pretty good for about a half an hour, until he really, really had to go to the bathroom. So he takes off to go, and he sees this huge line going out of the bathroom. He waits, waits, and waits until he finally takes care of his business. When he comes out of the bathroom, he notices that a crowd has formed around his date. She had just randomly passed out. Someone says to him, “hey, you’re her date, go get her some punch.” So he goes over to the punch table and thank god, there is no punch line.

  19. libormahdal
    Froyo Aug 15, 2014

  20. tkuniverse
    Gingerbread Aug 15, 2014