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The Country Estate.

  1. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    Why hello there, welcome to my country estate.

    I'm Kenneth Douglas Arthur Winston Grazenby, the 3rd Earl of Twatshire. Most people call me the Earl and I welcome you to my country manor.

    As you can see its quite a small house, only one hundred and five bedrooms and a single bathroom. The grounds are quite large and have a few wonderful features.

    The hedge maze is splendid, but I never go inside there. I went in there once and got lost for three weeks. I hear that one of my enemies, Count Dracula lives in there now, the undead fiend.

    The boating lake is splendid and offers a wonderful afternoon's adventure of rowing, fishing and such. Also it is excellent of hiding the results of tragic shotgun related accidents, but the less we say about that the better.

    The house itself was built in 1348 by someone whose name I have no idea. It has had a very varied history of being used as a barn, a military outpost and currently as my country estate and house.

    Now as you may have guessed, this country estate is situated in my home county of Twatshire in the British Isles. A wonderful place where it rains continuously most days of the year.

    But please take a seat, no, not in that chair, that's Satan's chair. Here this one will do.

    Sherry? Good choice. Now allow me to explain the reasons behind this thread.

    I've been toying with the idea of opening a thread on these wonderful forums for a while now, a place for me to post my gibberish and to discuss the topics of the day. So I've decided to let my imaginary butler perform this action.

    No doubt soon I will be filling this area with the mental and verbal effluence.

    As requested and suggest by Feluda, I will be putting links to the longer deliveries of gibberish I post here.

    Indeed.

    The Imaginary Butler Goes for a Swim
    The Earl Smells What the Rock is Cooking
    Wife Number Eight?
    Indiana Earl
    Except from "Fifty Shades of Earl Grey"
    The Earl doesn't like boats
    The Earl gets arrested
    Shark Hunting with The Earl
    A Werewolf? My Word!
    An interesting evening conversation with a good friend.
    To ride a Dragon.
    The Earl on Holiday. Part One.
    The Earl on Holiday. Part Two.
    Blue Alien Women!
    The Earl's Epic Rap Battle!
    Memory Loss, coupled with possible copyright legal action
    Sober???
    Robbers!!!
    The Earl Dies?
    The Earl Versus The Vampire Menace!
    The Twatshire Fair
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2015

    #1
  2. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

  3. aakashjhaveri
    Lollipop May 19, 2015


    #3
    Mjo, Master Hand, teckboy30 and 7 others like this.
  4. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015


    #4
  5. Maximus Decimus Meridius
    Marshmallow Senior Moderator May 19, 2015

    Maximus Decimus Meridius , May 19, 2015 :
    Hello Kenneth! Looking forward to the delightful stories. :)

    Perhaps.
     

    #5
  6. gringoboy
    Lollipop May 19, 2015


    #6
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 5 others like this.
  7. Tobikage
    Nougat May 19, 2015


    #7
  8. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015


    #8
  9. Tricksodave
    Jelly Bean May 19, 2015


    #9
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 6 others like this.
  10. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    I would like nothing more sir, however you would have to find it, and I am no good with directions. You enter England and turn left I believe.

    Indeed.
     

    #10
  11. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    Why hello there sir, a pleasure as always.

    Indeed.
     

    #11
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 4 others like this.
  12. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    Why thank you my good man, its just a place to collect and post my gibberish. Well here and the wormhole. I seem to be quite trapped there.

    Indeed.
     

    #12
    Master Hand, Mr. BG, ronoldo and 7 others like this.
  13. Rubii23
    Jelly Bean May 19, 2015

    Rubii23 , May 19, 2015 :
    Good morning. Lovely mansion you got there Earl! Would love to hear about your fantastic adventures [​IMG]
     

    #13
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 7 others like this.
  14. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    Hmm, that's a good point, I shall get to work on a party room. Well when I say I, I mean my imaginary butler will.

    Now the hardest question of all, to disco ball or not to disco ball.

    Indeed.
     

    #14
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 8 others like this.
  15. Tobikage
    Nougat May 19, 2015

    Tobikage , May 19, 2015 :
    Wherever you please Sir...always happy to read your adventures...:)
     

    #15
  16. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    Why thank you my good lady, compliments are always welcome. My imaginary butler did a wonderful job decorating it. He did it all himself, I know this as I watched.

    Indeed.
     

    #16
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 7 others like this.
  17. aakashjhaveri
    Lollipop May 19, 2015

    aakashjhaveri , May 19, 2015 :
    Don't you have the mighty metal piece floating in the heavens to tell us directions to your land?
     

    #17
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 4 others like this.
  18. Tricksodave
    Jelly Bean May 19, 2015

    Tricksodave , May 19, 2015 :
    Who doesn't like a wee bit of Disco :D
     

    #18
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 5 others like this.
  19. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015

    The Earl of Twatshire , May 19, 2015 :
    I'm afraid not sir, any metallic objects in my area get shot down. The locals dislike anything that fly.

    Odd bunch really.

    Indeed.
     

    #19
    Master Hand, ronoldo, pipecpa and 7 others like this.
  20. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat May 19, 2015


    #20