The Friday Foolishness Thread!

  1. YRJ
    Marshmallow Nov 29, 2019

  2. Impersonal
    Jelly Bean Nov 29, 2019

  3. TibiTibi
    Nougat Nov 29, 2019

  4. antonyjen
    Ice Cream Sandwich Nov 29, 2019

  5. script
    Nougat Moderator Nov 29, 2019

  6. mike_krb
    Gingerbread Nov 29, 2019

  7. Impersonal
    Jelly Bean Nov 29, 2019

  8. The Earl of Twatshire
    KitKat Nov 30, 2019

    The Earl of Twatshire , Nov 30, 2019 :
    Mmmmmm Friday

    Foolishness you say?

    Friday you say?

    Well, dear readers, allow me to tell you a tale. Last week my imaginary butler and I were out walking along the country lanes in my beloved Twatshire. We were having a rousing time as we laughed, drank, drank, laughed, and drank a little more.

    As we walked we managed to find a small motor car, which seemed to have been stranded out in the late hour of the evening.

    "Well, I never," I said to my imaginary butler, who was not paying attention at the time, so a rousing slap around his chops soon brought his attention back to me. We approached the car carefully as we did not want to alarm the occupants of the vehicle.

    As we approached the headlights flashed once, and the car began a strange rocking motion.

    Now, I must confess, this seemed odd as the engine was off and yet the vehicle still had some form of motion. I naturally, the brave soul that I am sent in my imaginary butler to investigate.

    He returned in mere moments, his eyes wide, his complexion ashen and his mouth mouthing words of silent disgust. He mentioned a word that sounded like "Frogging" but the sound of the fine Twatshire rain and the sheer amount of sherry in my system had made it impossible for me to understand the incorporeal buffoon.

    "Frogs, in motor cars?!" I exclaimed

    "Not in my county, what's next Camels on Mopeds? I'll not have my fair county besmirched by such rapscallions." I decided, as always, drunkenly that action was required I approached the car.

    The car rocked fast, and fast, followed by an agonized cry.

    Well that was it, shotgun out and brows furrowed I approached the car. I had heard of the Lesser Spotted Cry Frog in some possibly drunken memory I had once had. I remembered, that they were immense creatures at least a hundred meters high with teeth like broken bottles.

    As I approached a man emerged, and he was quite naked. He smiled at me. His wide toothy grin changed, slowly into a look of regret and dismay as the buckshot gently massaged his chest.

    Naturally, his sudden appearance had startled me, and my initial reaction was to open fire with my trusty shotgun. As his body fell a woman appeared naked too, she began to shout profanity at me and launched into an angry tirade of vitriol. She seemed to calm in the most natural way as she was considered her life choices as the second cartridge of buckshot convinced her that she had spoken out of turn.

    I stood there, panting heavily, the barrel of my shotgun smoking, bodies around my feet.

    I gestured to my imaginary butler that we should behave in the most appropriate and civilized way we could. We should perform our civic duty to these poor people.

    We ran like the blazes back to my country estate and were soon safe and sound in my Drawing Room (where no actual drawing is allowed) sipping a martini.

    I felt exhausted as my imaginary butler showed me an article on his OnePlus Mobile Telecommunication device, which outlined the exact affair that was going on in that car.

    I slapped him violently for knowing such filth and for not warning me of this sooner.

    Frogging, the imbecile.


  9. funmunke
    Marshmallow Nov 30, 2019

    funmunke , Nov 30, 2019 :
    It's been too long my fair friend!

  10. G_plusone and Impersonal like this.
  11. Wonderwoman13
    KitKat Nov 30, 2019

  12. meatandy
    Oreo Dec 2, 2019

  13. Impersonal
    Jelly Bean Dec 3, 2019

  14. MosheG1
    Ice Cream Sandwich Dec 6, 2019

  15. Wonderwoman13
    KitKat Dec 6, 2019